Calvin’s newborn days, though hazy in my mind, were such a mix of extreme slowness contrasted by everything moving too quickly. No time for anything yet so much time wondering what I should be doing with this perfect, fresh little squirmy being. So much overwhelming love for this little guy and my husband turned father fueled by hormones and life changes, and so. much. tired. There truly are no words for what waking up every two hours and taking an hour to fall asleep because you are worried the baby will smother himself will do while you are in immense post partum pain, but it didn’t really matter because you choose to either eat, shower, or sleep for the day (never time to do all basic functions…) and the rest of your day is spent snuggling with sweet little squishy larva. Music and trying to trick yourself with decaf coffee in bed while you drift in and out of consciousness next to a new little piece of your heart which somehow left your body and is out in the world. Being overwhelmed yet feeling that all is right with the world all at once.
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